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College Student Says Parents Fund School But Still Made Her Feel Controlled, Shamed, And Uncomfortable In Her Own Home

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Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

One college student shared a story that left many readers feeling unsettled. Despite her parents paying for her education and other expenses, she described a home life filled with control and discomfort, expressing doubts about their love for her.

Growing up as an only child, the student faced strict rules from her mother. She couldn’t choose her own clothes until high school and was made to wear a uniform, even though she attended a public school. The mother’s severe approach extended to punishments that seemed disproportionate; losing a pair of glasses could lead to a spanking, while being upset about a lack of lunch money resulted in anger rather than support.

Photo by Kyle Gregory Devaras on Unsplash

During her middle school years, things took a turn when her parents discovered she was questioning her sexuality. Their response was immediate and punitive, labeling her feelings as sinful. The arrival of COVID-19 compounded her struggles. She lost access to her phone for a year and a half due to what her parents deemed “bad grades,” despite her report card showing mostly As and Bs. She felt her parents reacted harshly when she excitedly shared a video about her identity with a friend, instead of having an open conversation about it.

High school continued the trend of discomfort. Her father’s comments about suicide left her feeling dismissed and misunderstood after she had attempted it at 15. Restrictions around her freedom seemed suffocating; she was 17 and still needed a parent to accompany her to the mall, while wearing sweatpants was deemed inappropriate for school.

Now in college, the student grapples with complex feelings about her parents. While they cover her tuition and therapy, she feels a growing resentment. It’s a paradox that weighs heavily on her. Her discomfort extends to her interactions with them, especially with her father. Odd behaviors, like poking her stomach while making comments about her crop top, made her reflect on boundaries that felt blurred. She even cited instances where her mother’s insistence on scrutinizing her clothing choices left her feeling incapable of asserting her own style.

People had very different reactions to her story. Some felt the strict upbringing was too much, arguing that love shouldn’t come with such control. Others suggested that financial support doesn’t always equate to emotional support, which she seemed to highlight with her conflicting feelings.

Some readers commented on their own experiences with strict parents, noting that such parenting styles can often lead to deep-rooted issues in adult relationships. Others pointed out that it’s essential for parents to genuinely communicate love and support, even when setting boundaries.

The Reddit discussion raised thought-provoking points about the nature of parental support. Can monetary support really replace emotional connection? Many felt this situation isn’t uncommon and voiced concerns about the long-term impact of such upbringing on the student’s mental health and self-identity.

As the student navigates her college years, the uncertainty lingers. Is it wrong to feel resentment towards parents who provide financially yet create an uncomfortable home environment? This question remains unanswered, leaving readers reflecting on the complexities of family relationships and the struggle many face in reconciling love with control.

 

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