It was a normal Friday when one coworker got a surprising request from a colleague. After giving him a few rides home since he returned from being sick, he casually suggested she skip her grocery shopping to take him home instead. The situation felt a bit off, leaving her uncertain about how to respond.
This coworker initially offered to help when his colleague was sick, thinking it would be a kind gesture. The rides were slightly out of her way, but she felt it was worth it to help a fellow worker recover. However, when she mentioned she couldn’t drive him home this week because of her grocery run, his response caught her off guard. Instead of making alternative plans or accepting her decision, he suggested she just order takeout and postpone her shopping for his convenience. It seemed like all of a sudden, her time was up for negotiation.
She felt perplexed. He was joking, right? Or was he serious? She wasn’t sure if he thought he could just demand changes to her schedule. After all, he had asked her to adjust her hours once before so it would fit his needs, and she had kept her schedule intact. It was starting to feel like he expected her to bend her plans for him whenever he needed a lift.
The coworker recalled being sympathetic to him when he returned from his illness. She offered him rides primarily out of kindness, not obligation. But now, after his suggestion, it felt different. Instead of being grateful for the help, he seemed to take it for granted, almost as if he assumed she would always be available for him—no matter her plans.
Upon further reflection, she realized that he knew she had asked about the bus schedule before. When he claimed the last bus left at the same time they finished, he had misled her. The bus in fact left 40 minutes later, meaning he could stretch what should have been a simple ride into an hour-long wait. This made the ride home seem much more appealing, but she also felt as if he was trying to play on her emotions to get what he wanted.
The coworker began to wonder about the dynamics of their relationship. Had she unintentionally set a precedent where he thought it was okay to ask her to change her schedule for him? It made her uneasy. She felt a mix of confusion and irritation, questioning whether he was being inconsiderate or just joking too much.
People had very different reactions to her story online. Some thought it was a clear case of entitlement, suggesting that he needed to understand the value of other people’s time. They felt he should be more self-reliant and recognize that asking someone to change their plans for him was not acceptable.
Others pointed out that sometimes, humor can mask a lack of awareness. They wondered if the colleague was simply not aware of how his comments could come across as presumptuous. Maybe he genuinely thought he was being funny, or maybe he believed his buddy-buddy relationship with her gave him a pass to make such requests.
Some suggested setting clearer boundaries might be beneficial. If he wanted rides regularly, they felt she should establish what she was comfortable with. There was a general sense of agreement among commenters that communication was key. But what if he brushed her boundaries off or continued to assume her help was guaranteed?
As the coworker reflected on these discussions, she was left questioning how best to respond. Should she have a candid conversation with him about expectations? Or would that only make things more awkward at work? It was a puzzling situation, and she wasn’t sure how it would unfold.
Was this a simple joke gone wrong, or a pattern of entitlement? Would a straightforward conversation change anything, or would it create an uncomfortable rift? These lingering questions hung in the air, leaving her unsure of what the next step should be.
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