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Man Tries to Lower Child Support After Having More Kids — Ex Says “Not My Problem”

man carrying to girls on field of red petaled flower

Photo by Juliane Liebermann

The internet lit up over a story that felt instantly familiar to a lot of divorced parents: a man who had more children with a new partner then tried to cut what he pays for his first kids, only to be told by his ex that their new household budget is “not my problem.” Behind the viral drama is a real legal question that comes up in courtrooms all the time. When a parent chooses to expand their family, how much should that decision affect the support owed to the children who were already here first?

Indiana’s rules offer a useful window into how courts try to balance those competing obligations. The state leans on detailed formulas, updated economic data, and a high bar for changing existing orders, all built around one basic idea: kids are not supposed to be the ones who absorb the financial hit when adults rearrange their lives.

The viral fight over “not my problem,” and what courts actually look at

Photo by Steven Van Loy

In the widely shared account, a father and his new partner argued that their growing family and rising expenses justified cutting what he sends to his ex for their older children. The ex pushed back, saying bluntly that the new couple’s finances “aren’t my problem,” and insisting that the original support reflect the lifestyle and needs of the first set of kids, not the choices he made later with someone else. That clash, captured in a post about a man and new trying to cut payments, resonated because it mirrors the emotional script in so many breakups: one parent feels squeezed, the other feels their children are being treated as optional.

Another version of the same story, shared through a separate write up on the same dispute, underscored the core tension: the father framed his request as simple fairness across all his children, while the ex framed it as an attempt to walk back commitments that were supposed to be stable. Strip away the online commentary and the question lands squarely in a judge’s lap. In Indiana, that judge does not just eyeball who seems more sympathetic. They are required to run the numbers through a structured system that starts with both parents’ income and the children’s needs, then decides whether anything has changed enough to justify a reset.

How Indiana’s Guidelines treat “more kids” and changing circumstances

Indiana uses a detailed schedule of expected child costs to figure out what each parent should pay, based on their combined earnings and how many children are in the picture. The state’s Department of Child Services explains that The Guidelines rely on a schedule for weekly support payments that estimates the total contribution both parents are expected to make. Those numbers are then plugged into a child support calculator that uses each parent’s weekly gross income, parenting time credits, and other adjustments to land on a final figure. Earlier guidance from the courts notes that it is recommended that these guidelines be used to compute a deduction from weekly gross income based on the Incomes of Bothrents, which is why a new baby in a second household does not automatically slash what is owed to the first.

Over time, Indiana has updated the economic assumptions behind these rules so they track with real life. Recent revisions explain that the economic models for the Guidelines are adjusted to stay consistent with current income data, cost of living, and the actual expenses carried by families and co parents. A separate breakdown of Indiana Child Support changes notes the Removal of the 6% Rule and clarifies that The Guidelines now handle uninsured medical costs differently, which can matter a lot when a child has ongoing health needs. On top of that, the judiciary’s 2023 update on the Child Support Worksheet and Deviations stresses that even if parents agree to a lower number, a court still has to review the worksheet and decide whether a deviation from the formula is justified. In other words, a private deal between a dad and his new partner does not control what the first kids receive.

When can support really be modified, and how much do new children matter?

Indiana does allow parents to ask for changes, but it treats existing orders as serious business. Guidance on Modifying Child Support in Indiana notes that the State, like most States, puts high importance on the finality of court decisions, which means a parent has to show a substantial and continuing change in circumstances or a big enough gap between the old order and what the formula would produce today. The Department of Child Services explains that to terminate or significantly change an order before a child turns 19, a petition must be filed, and a court will look for at least a 20 percent difference between the existing amount and what the current calculation would require, as laid out in its frequently asked questions. That is a high bar for someone who simply chose to have more children and now feels stretched.

Parents who want a change have to go back to the same court that issued the original order, file the right paperwork, and be ready for a hearing. One guide to Requesting a Modification When a parent seeks relief makes it clear that they must go to a court hearing and present evidence, not just complain that money is tight. Another resource on Indiana law notes that while parents can petition for a change, the burden on the parent requesting a reduction is notably high, especially if the other parent is fighting it. Courts will look at updated income, childcare costs, health insurance, and sometimes the financial impact of new children, but they are not in the business of letting earlier kids slide to subsidize later ones.

That is where the math gets more nuanced. A breakdown of How Much a Basic Child Support Obligation should be explains that the Basic Child Support Obligation depends on combined income and how many children the parents have, and notes there are also caps on how much of a parent’s income can be taken, regardless of how many children they have. Recent analysis of Weekly Support Payment shows that in the new 2024 rules and guidelines, the Weekly Adjusted income levels at which support increases are tied to both earnings and the number of children, which can slightly shift obligations when a parent’s family size changes. And as one overview of how long support lasts points out, However, other considerations regarding child support modifications will need to be considered, including your new (if any) child support payments for additional children. Put simply, more kids can tweak the numbers, but they do not erase the obligation to the first ones, which is exactly what the ex in that viral story was getting at when she said the new family’s finances are not her problem.

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