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MIL Plays Dying Victim Again, Denies Smoking In The House, Kisses The Baby Anyway, And Says God’s Plan Apparently Includes Ignoring Boundaries

A mother affectionately embraces her baby against a serene blue background.

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One mom didn’t know how to handle the situation after her mother-in-law (MIL) pulled a classic disappearing act for all the wrong reasons. She had blocked her MIL due to ongoing drama and rumors. Yet despite all efforts to maintain boundaries, the MIL turned the couple’s decision to keep their newborn away from her into another sob story about her supposed victimhood. It was all very confusing and unsettling.

The mom and her husband finally visited the in-laws to sort out their possessions, but tension was already thick. The MIL had been denying her smoking habit, claiming she didn’t smoke indoors. But after a day of refusal, she let it slip that she had scrubbed a specific area where she’s known to smoke. This was after the mom had insisted they wouldn’t be exposing their baby to smoke, especially after entering a new phase of parenthood. They were trying to prioritize their daughter’s health, but the MIL’s actions showed a blatant disregard for those boundaries.

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

Feeling overwhelmed, the mom had taken steps to keep her daughter’s arrival as stress-free as possible, even opting not to announce their hospital stay until after the baby was born. Still, the MIL managed to interject herself, expressing hurt over not being informed of the delivery. She even tried to manipulate their communication by claiming she needed updates to know what to pray for. It was as if she was making the entire situation about herself instead of focusing on the new life that had just arrived.

During the emotional upheaval, the MIL made some shocking comments to the husband, like wishing to die first so that he could have the grandparent experience he deserved. Her track record had already been questionable, as two of her own daughters limited contact with her. It wasn’t just the husband who had to deal with the fallout; the family dynamics were almost comical in their dysfunctionality.

The mom noted that the MIL had announced she was “dying” for the third time since their marriage, with no real medical basis for such claims. She expressed that such comments were guilt-trips aimed at manipulating her husband’s feelings toward her. Even while expressing her desire to change her lifestyle, including quitting smoking, the MIL kept pushing on the boundaries established by the new parents. It left the mom feeling exasperated as she navigated this awkward family dynamic.

Things reached a boiling point when the MIL kissed the baby on the forehead, ignoring the couple’s clear request not to do so. The grandma even chimed in, stating she had been kissing the baby the whole time. This blatant disrespect of boundaries was truly unsettling for the mom, who then had to confront the situation head-on. She even called out the grandma for her actions, but that only led to more defensiveness. The grandma insisted that it was all part of “God’s plan,” which didn’t sit well with the mom, who was not religious in the first place.

Despite having organized a get-together designed to accommodate their rules, the experience only further illustrated the in-laws’ inability to respect boundaries. The mom was left feeling that her careful planning and good intentions were disregarded. Her husband seemed to think this was all overblown, arguing that they might not have to deal with these issues much longer anyway, as the MIL’s health was in question.

At one point, the mom suggested they should wait to have more children until after the MIL was no longer in the picture. The husband reacted defensively, stating it wasn’t fair to punish him for his family’s issues. This discussion brought to light the complex emotional landscape one has to navigate when family boundaries are repeatedly tested. The mom felt frustrated, recalling her own experiences of having to please everyone around her growing up.

In the wake of these events, the couple’s plans for the future seemed more complicated than ever. People had very mixed reactions to her experience, with some sympathizing with her boundary struggles and others questioning whether her response was over the top. This variety of opinions showcased the polarized nature of family interactions.

Some thought that the husband should take the mom’s feelings more seriously, recognizing how difficult it is to balance family obligations with personal boundaries. Others pointed out that family dynamics often involve a lot of emotional manipulation and that it might be worth reconsidering how much contact they maintain with the in-laws.

The mom was left with lingering doubts about how to move forward. Should she continue to push for boundaries, or is it more about appeasing the chaotic family environment? It’s a delicate balance to strike, and in the end, one question remained: how does one maintain their peace when family drama continues to rear its head?

 

 

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