One mom was left unsettled when her estranged mother decided to reach out to her mother-in-law about a check from a baby shower that took place over four years ago. The big problem? The check had already been cashed, and the daughter was caught off guard by the audacity of her mother seeking out someone who barely knows her family to make this request. This bizarre attempt at collecting what seems like a ghost debt has left her feeling embarrassed and confused.
The background makes the situation even stranger. The daughter had not spoken to her mom for about a month after a blow-up that culminated in her mother claiming she never wanted to see her again. During this no-contact period, the mother somehow thought it was a great idea to dig up an old baby shower check that she had long since cashed. It’s a puzzling move, especially since the daughter’s parents and in-laws have only met at the wedding and baby shower—occasions that hardly warrant renewed financial discussions.
This effort feels like an odd form of harassment, with the mom seemingly reaching out to the in-laws as a way to poke at her daughter. The daughter wanted to tell her mother to stop trying to shake down her in-laws for money, but the peace she found in no contact made her hesitant. She couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that her mom was just trying to embarrass her further in an attempt to get her to reach out.
Commenters on the original Reddit post had a lot to say about the unconventional request. Some thought it was common for individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) traits to engage in behaviors that seem irrational or hurtful. They pointed out that such actions often stem from a desire for attention or connection, even if it’s in a toxic way. The mom’s behavior echoed a manipulation tactic that many had seen before.
Others expressed concern about how the daughter might navigate this situation moving forward. Could her mother escalate these bizarre attempts? Would she start reaching out to friends or relatives next? The anxiety about who might be next on the mother’s list added another layer to an already unusual drama. Some suggested that establishing firm boundaries might be a good way to prevent any more of these antics, although that can be easier said than done with a parent like this.
There was also sympathy for the daughter, who seemed to be balancing the weight of her mother’s actions while trying to maintain her own peace. Recognizing the need for distance while dealing with the lingering embarrassment of her mother’s behavior isn’t easy. It’s a situation many can relate to, whether they have experienced a toxic relationship with a parent or just dealt with a difficult family dynamic.
The comments revealed a sense of community, with many sharing their own experiences and offering support. Some suggested ways to handle family members who cross lines, while others had personal stories about the fallout of going no-contact. Each anecdote added to the understanding that dealing with family is rarely straightforward, especially when past traumas resurface in unexpected ways.
As one mom continues to grapple with her mother’s strange antics, the question remains: How does one address a parent’s bizarre behavior without letting it seep into their own life? People shared their advice, but the reality is that no clear solution appeared. The daughter may never fully understand her mother’s motives, and the discomfort of the situation will likely linger as she navigates her relationship—and distance—with her mother.
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