Young woman standing solemnly in front of a mirror, reflected next to a messy, overstuffed wardrobe filled with disorganized clothes in a dimly lit room

15 Things You’re Keeping That Are Holding You Back Emotionally

Sometimes, the things you hold onto can weigh you down more than you realize. Whether it’s emotions, habits, or even physical stuff, these attachments might be quietly affecting your well-being.

Understanding what you’re keeping that holds you back can help you start making changes for emotional freedom. This article will help you spot those hidden burdens so you can move forward with less weight on your mind.

Old grudges and resentment

Close-up of a distressed woman clenching her eyes shut and gripping her hair tightly, expression tense and emotional, suggesting intense frustration or emotional overwhelm
Image credit: David Garrison/Pexels.

Holding onto grudges keeps you stuck in negative feelings. When you hold resentment, it’s like carrying a heavy weight you don’t need.

This kind of bitterness can affect your mood and relationships without you even realizing it.

Letting go doesn’t mean you forget, but it frees you from letting the past control your present.

Try to stay calm and avoid acting on anger. It helps you see things clearer and move forward.

Unrealistic expectations of yourself

someone thinking about declutter
Image Credit: Kaboompics.com / Pexels.

You might expect yourself to be perfect all the time, but that’s not realistic. Everyone makes mistakes, and holding yourself to impossible standards only leads to frustration.

When you set goals that are too high or unrealistic, you set yourself up for failure. It’s okay to aim high, but remember to be kind to yourself along the way.

Cut yourself some slack and focus on progress, not perfection. Accept what you’ve achieved instead of obsessing over what you haven’t.

Fear of vulnerability

A Sad Woman in Black Top Holding a Gray Cloth
Image Credit: Kaboompics.com/Pexels.

The fear of vulnerability often stops you from sharing your true feelings. You might worry about being judged or rejected if you open up.

Avoiding vulnerability keeps you stuck in a cycle of emotional walls. Facing that fear, even a little at a time, can help you build trust with yourself and others.

It’s normal to feel scared, but remember, being vulnerable isn’t about weakness—it’s about being real.

Toxic friendships

Three young adults standing outside, one person leaning against a wall looking down while the other two appear to be talking intensely, possibly arguing or confronting
Image credit: Keira Burton/Pexels.

Toxic friendships can drain your energy and make you doubt yourself. When you constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells or things always revolve around the other person, it’s a sign something’s off.

You might find yourself avoiding conversations or feeling worse after hanging out. Holding on to these friendships keeps you stuck instead of helping you grow emotionally.

Guilt from past mistakes

Depressed Woman, Clutter, woman in black dress curled up on couch, emotional expression, quiet indoor setting
Image Credit: Kaboompics.com/Pexels.

You might be holding onto guilt from things you did or said a long time ago. It can feel heavy and stop you from moving forward.

Remember, everyone makes mistakes, and beating yourself up won’t change the past. Instead, try to understand why you feel guilty.

Give yourself permission to let go and forgive yourself. Holding onto guilt only keeps you stuck in the same place emotionally.

Perfectionism

Man sitting alone at a wooden dining table in a bright room with white shutters, covering his face with one hand, appearing stressed or overwhelmed
Image credit: Andrew Neel/Pexels.

You might think aiming for perfection helps you, but it often holds you back. It creates pressure that makes tasks feel overwhelming.

When you focus only on perfect results, you may procrastinate or avoid starting things altogether.

Perfectionism can make you see things as all-or-nothing, which stops progress. Letting go of impossible standards frees you to try and grow.

Negative self-talk

Person sitting on a bed hugging their knees, wearing a grey sweater and blue jeans, surrounded by white pillows, body language suggesting sadness or emotional distress
Image credit: Alex Green/Pexels.

You might not notice how often you tell yourself negative things. Thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I always mess up” quietly hold you back.

This kind of self-talk can make it harder to try new things or believe in your abilities. It’s not about being overly positive, but catching and changing these harsh inner comments can help you move forward.

Start by noticing your thoughts and replacing harsh judgments with kinder, more realistic ones. It’s a simple shift, but it can make a big difference over time.

Unhealthy attachment to material things

Clutter Sad Woman
Image Credit: Pexels.

You might find yourself holding on to stuff that no longer serves you. When your value ties up with things, it can weigh you down emotionally.

Clinging to possessions can make it hard to accept change or move forward. It’s easy to get stuck thinking these things define your worth.

Letting go of material attachments doesn’t mean giving everything away. It’s about not letting your stuff control your emotions or decisions.

Avoiding difficult conversations

Woman sitting on a couch looking away thoughtfully with her head resting on her hand, man in the background sitting with arms crossed
Image credit: Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels.

You might be holding back because tough talks feel uncomfortable or emotional. But avoiding them often makes problems stick around longer.

When you keep things inside, it’s easy to take issues personally and let resentment build. Talking about what’s bothering you can clear the air and stop negative feelings from growing.

Try to pick a calm moment for these conversations, so emotions aren’t running high. Planning what you want to say beforehand helps a lot too.

Unforgiven betrayals

Woman raising her hand and turning away from a man during a conversation, both standing on outdoor steps, suggesting tension or disagreement
Image credit: Keira Burton/Pexels.

Holding onto betrayals keeps your heart locked and limits your emotional freedom. You might replay the hurt over and over, making it hard to move forward.

When you don’t forgive, you carry the weight of anger and resentment. This slows down your healing and holds your energy hostage.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing what happened. It means choosing peace for yourself, so you can stop reliving the pain daily.

Holding onto disappointment

Stressed Depressed Woman
Image Credit: Engin Akyurt/Pexels.

When you hold onto disappointment, it can weigh you down more than you realize. You might find yourself stuck, replaying what went wrong instead of moving forward.

It’s natural to feel upset, but staying in that negative space blocks new opportunities. Accept your feelings, then let them go.

Remember, disappointment doesn’t define your worth or your future. Keep learning and keep moving, even if it feels tough at first.

Constantly replaying past failures

A woman with curly hair holding a tissue looks emotional and teary-eyed indoors
Image Credit: Liza Summer/Pexels.

You might find yourself stuck replaying moments where you feel you messed up. This habit can trap you in negative feelings and keep you from moving forward.

Remember, making mistakes is part of being human. Instead of harshly judging yourself, try to see what you learned from those experiences.

Holding on to regret only makes it harder to focus on the present. Letting go means forgiving yourself and accepting that no one is perfect.

Fear of change

Man sitting curled up on a chair with hands over his ears, looking distressed in a dimly lit room with white walls and vertical windows
Image credit: MART PRODUCTION/Pexels.

You might avoid change because it feels uncertain or risky. It’s normal to want things to stay comfortable and familiar.

But holding on too tight can stop you from growing. When you fear change, you miss chances to learn and improve.

Remember, change isn’t always bad. It can open new doors and help you discover strengths you didn’t know you had.

Suppressing emotions like anger or sadness

Woman sitting in a chair with her head down and hands clasped over her head, body tense, suggesting emotional distress or overwhelm
Image credit: Liza Summer/Pexels.

When you hold back feelings like anger or sadness, you’re not really getting rid of them. Instead, they can build up inside, affecting your mood and energy without you fully realizing it.

You might notice yourself feeling anxious or sad instead of angry. Avoiding these emotions can make it harder to deal with what’s really going on.

Letting yourself feel these emotions, even if it’s uncomfortable, helps you understand and move past them. Keeping them locked up only weighs you down over time.

Beliefs that you’re not deserving

Sad woman with smeared makeup sitting on a wooden floor against wooden doors, holding a bottle, with pills scattered nearby, under red lighting
Image credit: MART PRODUCTION/Pexels.

You might carry the feeling that you don’t deserve happiness or success. This belief quietly limits your choices and lowers your self-esteem.

When you think you’re not worthy, you stop yourself from going after what you want. It’s like putting an invisible barrier between you and your goals.

Recognizing this belief is the first step to breaking it down. You deserve respect and good things, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.