Let’s face it: sometimes, when you’re in the mood for pizza, you want that perfect balance of crust, sauce, and toppings. Unfortunately, not all frozen pizzas deliver on that promise. In fact, some of them seem to think that a thick crust is a suitable substitute for a generous heap of toppings. You know the ones—those pizzas that make you wonder if the cheese and pepperoni decided to take a vacation while the crust stayed behind to take center stage. Here are five frozen pizzas that are all crust and no topping, leaving you craving more than just a doughy base.
1. DiGiorno Rising Crust Pepperoni Pizza
Ah, DiGiorno, the classic brand that insists “It’s not delivery, it’s DiGiorno.” But when you bite into their Rising Crust Pepperoni Pizza, you might start to question that slogan. Sure, the crust rises beautifully and has a satisfying crunch, but you’ll quickly find that the pepperoni is as sparse as a unicorn sighting. If you’re a crust enthusiast, this pizza might tickle your fancy, but if you’re a toppings aficionado, prepare for a letdown.
2. Stouffer’s French Bread Pizza
Now, I know what you’re thinking: “French bread pizza? Isn’t that just glorified toast?” Well, yes, but it’s also a nostalgic snack that many of us grew up loving. The problem with Stouffer’s version is that it seems more focused on the bread than the pizza. You’ll get a nice, crunchy base, but the cheese and toppings are practically a whisper in comparison. It’s like the pizza is shouting, “Look at me! I’m all crust!” while the toppings hide in embarrassment.
3. Red Baron Classic Crust Pepperoni Pizza
Red Baron is a household name, and for good reason. Their pizzas are quick, easy, and often hit the spot. But if you’re after a hefty serving of toppings, you might want to steer clear of the Classic Crust Pepperoni. The crust is delightfully crispy, but the pepperoni feels like it’s playing hide and seek. You’ll end up with a satisfying crunch but a distinct lack of flavor from the toppings. It’s like they decided to give the crust a standing ovation and forgot to invite the toppings to the party.
4. Tombstone Original 4 Meat Pizza
Ah, Tombstone. The pizza that promises a meat lover’s dream but often delivers a crusty reality. The Original 4 Meat Pizza sounds delicious, right? But when you pop it in the oven, you might find yourself staring down a pizza that’s more crust than anything else. The meats are there, but they’re scattered like confetti at a birthday party—just not enough to make a real impact. If you’re looking for a pizza that’ll leave you feeling stuffed and satisfied, this one might lead you to reconsider your options.
5. California Pizza Kitchen Crispy Thin Crust BBQ Chicken Pizza
California Pizza Kitchen is known for its innovative flavors, but their Crispy Thin Crust BBQ Chicken Pizza is a head-scratcher. The thin crust is undeniably crispy and has a nice flavor, but the toppings? Well, let’s just say they’re shy. You’ll get a hint of BBQ sauce and a few pieces of chicken, but the crust has a tendency to steal the show. It’s like a one-person show where the crust is the star, and the toppings are just the understudies waiting in the wings.
When it comes to frozen pizza, there’s nothing worse than biting into a slice and feeling like you’ve been cheated out of toppings. If you find yourself facing any of these crust-heavy pizzas, just know you’re not alone in your disappointment. It’s a tough world out there for pizza lovers, and sometimes, you need to dig a little deeper to find the balance between crust and toppings. So, if you’re in the mood for a frozen pizza night, maybe grab one of these crust-heavy varieties as a sidekick to a fresh salad or some extra toppings you can throw on yourself. You’ll feel way more satisfied, and who knows—you might even enjoy the crust a little more when it’s paired with something more substantial!
