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I have primary custody and make less — why am I paying alimony and child support?

Parents who walk out of family court with primary custody and a smaller paycheck are often stunned to learn they still owe both alimony and child support. The outcome feels upside down, but it usually reflects how judges separate the needs of children from the financial fallout of the marriage itself. Understanding the logic behind those two different obligations is the first step to deciding whether the order is unfair or simply unexpected.

In most states, child support is driven by formulas and guidelines, while alimony is shaped by a broader look at each spouse’s finances and the history of the relationship. When those two systems collide, a lower earning parent with most of the parenting time can still be tagged as the “payor,” especially if the other parent earns even less or left the marriage with far fewer resources.

Why child support can ignore who has more time with the kids

man carrying to girls on field of red petaled flower
Photo by Juliane Liebermann

Child support is designed around the child’s basic needs, not the parents’ sense of fairness. Courts start by looking at the money available for the children, often using a figure called Combined Parental Income up to exactly $141,000, then applying a percentage based on how many children are involved. That total support number is then divided between the parents in proportion to their incomes, which means the parent who earns more of the combined pot is usually responsible for a larger share, regardless of where the children sleep most nights.

Most states rely on an Income Shares model that tries to mimic what the children would have received if the household had stayed together. Under that approach, the court assumes both parents should keep contributing to the same standard of living, then assigns each a percentage of the obligation based on earnings. Even in shared or near equal schedules, the higher earner can be ordered to pay support to the lower earner so the children are not bouncing between a comfortable home and one that struggles to cover basics.

Why you might owe support even with primary or 50/50 custody

Custody labels do not always control who pays. In some jurisdictions, child support is “often required regardless of whether you have 50/50 custody or primary custody,” and Child support is typically tied to which parent has the higher income. That means a parent who has the children most of the time but still earns more than the other parent can be ordered to pay, because the law is trying to balance the children’s experience in both homes rather than reward the parent who took on more overnights.

Even with a perfectly even schedule, the same logic applies. Legal guidance on shared parenting explains that Child Support and, and that even with 50 percent of the time, the higher earning parent typically pays support because the law prioritizes the child’s financial stability over a strict accounting of nights. In New York, for example, courts reviewing shared arrangements look at both parents’ finances and How Shared Custody by focusing on each parent’s ability to meet the child’s needs, not just the parenting schedule on paper.

Income, prior children, and changing circumstances

Judges do not look at income in a vacuum. They weigh a range of factors that can increase or decrease the guideline amount, including health care, special needs, and other expenses that fall under What Influences Child beyond the basic formula. If one parent is already supporting children from a previous relationship, that can complicate the math, but it does not automatically erase the new obligation.

In New York, for instance, The Courts emphasize that a parent knew their obligation to their first children before having more, so the earlier support order usually remains a priority. If the paying parent later suffers a major setback, such as a job loss or serious pay cut, they may ask the court to revisit the numbers. Legal guidance notes that In the event of a substantial reduction in income, a parent can petition to have a child support obligation reduced, but the change must be significant and well documented.

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