Thanksgiving: The Most Wonderful (and Stressful) Time of the Year
Thanksgiving is often painted as this idyllic family gathering, complete with a perfectly golden turkey, laughter, and a cozy atmosphere. But let’s be real for a second: for many of us, it’s more like a high-stakes game show where the prize is your sanity. I spent years hosting Thanksgiving dinners, trying to create that picture-perfect holiday experience, only to find myself feeling more like a frazzled turkey than a cheerful host. Finally, I decided to quit—and it turned out to be the best decision I ever made for my mental health.
The Pressure is Real
Every year, as the leaves turned and the smell of pumpkin spice filled the air, I felt the familiar knot of anxiety tighten in my stomach. There’s this unspoken rule that Thanksgiving must be epic, right? You’re expected to serve a delicious feast, keep everyone entertained, and somehow manage to make it all look effortless. I’d spend weeks planning the menu, shopping for ingredients, and cleaning my house until it sparkled. But as soon as the guests arrived, I’d often find myself in a whirlwind of chaos, darting between the kitchen and the dining room, praying nothing would burn. Spoiler alert: things burned.
The Breaking Point
After a particularly chaotic Thanksgiving where the turkey was drier than the Sahara and Aunt Mildred had a little too much wine, I hit my breaking point. I realized that I was so busy trying to please everyone that I’d completely forgotten to enjoy the holiday myself. I was a bundle of stress, and it dawned on me that my mental health was suffering. I was more focused on impressing my guests than connecting with my family, and that’s when I knew something had to change.
Deciding to Quit
So, I made the bold choice to step back from hosting. At first, it felt like I was giving up on some sort of holiday tradition, and I couldn’t shake the guilt. How could I let everyone down? But then I realized that by stepping back, I was actually giving myself the gift of peace. I started to explore the idea of “Thanksgiving without the pressure.” Instead of cooking, I suggested a potluck where everyone could bring their favorite dish. It was a game changer!
Rediscovering Joy in the Holidays
The first year I didn’t host, I felt like I was on a mini-vacation. I arrived at my friend Sara’s house with a simple salad (no, I didn’t attempt a seven-layer dip) and kicked back. There was no frantic running around, no worrying about whether the cranberry sauce matched the turkey, just good food and even better company. I laughed, shared stories, and actually got to enjoy the holiday rather than just survive it. It was liberating!
Finding Balance
Now, don’t get me wrong—there’s nothing wrong with hosting if that’s your thing. But for me, it was a revelation to realize that I didn’t have to shoulder all the responsibility to enjoy the holiday. I learned that it’s okay to take a step back, and it’s even more important to prioritize your mental health. Whether you’re hosting or attending, the holidays should be about connection and joy, not stress and chaos.
Embracing Change
Quitting hosting Thanksgiving didn’t just change my holiday experience; it transformed my entire approach to family gatherings. I’ve embraced the idea that every gathering can be unique, and they don’t all have to follow the traditional script. Now, we try different themes each year—last year was “Thanksgiving Around the World,” where everyone brought a dish inspired by a different culture. Spoiler alert: there was a lot of delicious food, and nobody had to worry about who burnt the turkey!
Lessons Learned
So what’s the takeaway from my Thanksgiving journey? It’s simple: you’re allowed to prioritize your mental health, even during the holidays. Whether it’s stepping back from hosting, simplifying the meal, or just being honest about how you’re feeling, it’s okay to shake things up. You don’t have to conform to anyone’s expectations but your own. After all, Thanksgiving should be about gratitude, connection, and joy—not a stress-inducing marathon.
Moving Forward
This year, as the holiday approaches, I’m excited to embrace the chaos with a fresh perspective. I’ll be bringing my famous homemade pumpkin pie (because some traditions are worth keeping) and soaking up every moment.
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