Military Mom of a 2 Year Old and a 10 Month Old Says Her Toddler Choked on Bacon on Her First Morning of Solo Parenting With No Family Nearby to Call

“Are you choking? Oh, my gosh. Are you okay?” Partway through a morning vlog, that is what Nyla, who posts as @nylabrelsford, says when her 2 year old starts choking at breakfast. Her caption fills in the rest: on day one of solo parenting, her son “choked on a piece of bacon.” After a quick “Are you okay? Yeah,” she tells him, “Let’s chew our food more until we swallow, okay?”

The text on screen sets up the situation: “DAY 1 OF SOLO PARENTING,” “2 YEAR OLD + 10 MONTH OLD,” and “SPEND THE MORNING WITH ME AS A 23 YEAR OLD SAHM OF TWO.” Holding her baby daughter in a nursery under a “Jesus Loves Me” print, Nyla explains that her husband “decided to leave us for a few days to go on a work trip,” and asks viewers for support “because we have no family nearby, no village. We’re a military family.”

The morning she narrates is a familiar pile up. Both kids get dressed and changed. Her son’s “pre breakfast snack” is fruit snacks, and she is not fighting it: “I’m not arguing with him. I really don’t care.” The baby has her morning bottle, and Nyla says she now has to combo feed, adding, “I don’t want to talk about it or I will cry.” Then comes a quick “Stop doing that to your sister. She doesn’t like it,” followed by “You’re gonna pick it all up.”

She gets sarcastic about the mess. “I just love cleaning up after my kids,” she says, because it means they feel “so comfortable in my home.” Breakfast follows, and so does the bacon scare. Right after it, she turns to the baby: “Sissy, calm down. You’re fine.”

Once the kids are eating, she puts on a show and tidies up, saying the house looks “like a bomb went off in here.” She also has a message for other mothers. “I feel like motherhood was not supposed to be so lonely,” she says, and many women are “doing it all alone or literally just with our husbands.” She says finding a community online has helped her through postpartum. A shout of “Mommy!” ends the reflection, and she signs off saying that even though it is “96 degrees outside,” they are heading out for “a little mental health walk.”

What the CDC Lists as Choking Hazards for Toddlers

Meat is on the list. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention names “tough or large chunks of meat” among the foods that are choking hazards for young children, along with hot dogs, meat sticks and sausages, large chunks of cheese, whole nuts, uncut grapes and cherry tomatoes, popcorn and chips. Its list of sweet foods includes “chewy fruit snacks,” gummy candies and marshmallows.

The CDC says cutting food into smaller pieces and mashing it can help prevent choking. Its other tips line up closely with a hectic morning: have the child sit up while eating, in a high chair or other safe place, with no lying down, crawling or walking; avoid letting the child eat in the car or stroller; keep mealtimes calm; avoid distractions, disruptions and rushing; and watch the child at all times while they eat. The agency also tells parents to talk to their child’s doctor or nurse to learn what to do if a child chokes.

When You Are the Only Adult in the House

Nyla’s morning had every factor at once: two kids under three, one parent, a baby who needed a bottle while the toddler needed breakfast. A few changes make that stretch safer.

Prep the toddler’s food before anyone sits down. Cut bacon and other meats into small, thin pieces, and set the plate out only once he is buckled into a high chair or booster where you can see him.

Feed the baby first or after, not across the room. If the bottle and breakfast have to overlap, sit where you can see the toddler’s face the whole time. A show or a phone on the table pulls everyone’s eyes away from the food.

Ask your pediatrician at the next visit what to do if your child chokes, and ask where to take an infant and child first aid class. Do this before the next solo stretch, not after.

For military families with a spouse away, Military OneSource, the Defense Department’s family support service, suggests sticking to the kids’ schedule, getting to know at least three neighbors, and joining a babysitting co op or playgroup. It also points to free, confidential counseling by secure live video, fee assistance for off base child care through MilitaryChildCare.com when installation programs are full, and a phone line at 800 342 9647 where families can ask for a health and wellness coach.

Write down two local numbers before your partner leaves: a neighbor who can come over in five minutes and a sitter for one hour off. With no family nearby, as Nyla put it, those names are the village.