My Mother-In-Law Hates My Decorating and I’ve Never Felt More Free
Picture this: you’ve just spent hours arranging your living room, painstakingly choosing the perfect color scheme, and hunting down that one quirky lamp that perfectly captures your vibe. You’re feeling pretty proud of your handiwork. Then, in walks your mother-in-law, and the look on her face is enough to make you feel like you just served her burnt toast for dinner. Yep, that was me, and let me tell you, it’s a real eye-opener when you realize that someone else’s opinion doesn’t have to dictate your happiness—or your home decor.
The Great Decor Divide
Let’s be real: when it comes to home decorating, everyone has an opinion. Your friends might gush over your bold color choices, while your mother-in-law questions why you’d ever choose “that shade of avocado green.” It can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re trying to create a space that reflects your personality and tastes. For me, it became a constant tug-of-war between wanting to please my mother-in-law and craving the freedom to express myself in my own home.
Over time, I noticed that her critical remarks didn’t just make me second-guess my choices; they made me feel stifled. It was as if I was living in a museum of someone else’s preferences rather than a cozy home that felt like me. So, I had to ask myself: why was I allowing her opinions to weigh so heavily on my heart and my home? The answer? I was afraid of conflict, or worse, of disappointing her. But here’s the kicker: as I started to embrace my own style, I realized I felt lighter, more liberated.
Finding My Decorating Voice
So, what changed? Well, it all started with a little experiment. I took a weekend, grabbed some paint swatches, and went wild. I painted an accent wall in a vibrant teal that made my heart sing. I picked out throw pillows that looked like they’d come straight out of a bohemian dream. I even hung up a giant canvas of abstract art that some might call “chaotic,” but I call “expressive.”
When my mother-in-law came over next, I held my breath, waiting for the inevitable critique. But instead of feeling anxious, I felt excited. When she walked in, I could see the gears turning in her head. “You really like this, huh?” she asked, her voice dripping with skepticism. But this time, instead of cringing, I smiled and said, “Absolutely! It makes me feel alive.”
Embracing the Freedom
And you know what? That moment was liberating. I realized that decorating isn’t just about aesthetics—it’s about creating a space that feels authentically “you.” Sure, my mother-in-law might not love my style, but here’s the twist: I don’t have to live in her taste. I’m not saying we should disregard our loved ones’ opinions entirely; after all, they often come from a place of love. But there’s a fine line between constructive criticism and dampening your spirit. I chose to embrace the freedom of my choices, and it’s been a game-changer.
Now, when she visits, I don’t hold my breath anymore. I take pride in what I’ve created. I’ve learned to nod and smile at her comments, while internally reminding myself that my home is an extension of who I am. Plus, the best part? I’ve found other friends and family who love my style and genuinely appreciate the quirks that make my home unique.
Tips for Finding Your Own Freedom
So, how can you find that same freedom in your home? Here are a few tips that helped me along the way:
- Trust Your Instincts: If something makes you feel good, go for it! Don’t let others’ preferences dim your excitement.
- Start Small: If you’re nervous about making bold choices, start with smaller changes. A new set of throw pillows or a funky piece of art can make a world of difference.
- Curate Your Influences: Follow designers and influencers whose styles resonate with you. Fill your feed with inspiration that lifts you up, not critiques.
- Communicate Boundaries: If a family member’s opinion gets too overwhelming, it’s okay to gently set boundaries. You can say something like, I appreciate your input, but this is really a space where I need to make my own decisions.
More from Decluttering Mom:
