Her husband had barely pulled out of the driveway for a work trip when @nylabrelsford picked up her phone and started filming day one of parenting alone. She is a military wife with no relatives anywhere close, and she was honest about how that felt. “We have no family nearby, no village,” she says. By the end of the morning, her little boy had choked on a piece of bacon, and she was ready to call it a full day before nap time had even arrived.
“Day one of solo parenting and the morning was CHAOS,” she writes in her caption. “Jaylen choked on a piece of bacon, everyone needed me at the exact same time, and I swear I had already lived an entire day before nap time.”
The video walks through the morning in quick, real-time snapshots. First, she gets the kids dressed, with diapers and sensitive-skin wipes at the ready. Then it is her son Jaylen’s turn. His “pre-breakfast snack,” she announces, is a pack of fruit snacks, and she has no plans to fight about it. “I’m not arguing with him,” she says. “I really don’t care.”
Next, the baby, Camden, gets her morning bottle. The mom mentions she now has to combo feed, meaning she is using both breast milk and formula, and she admits she would rather not dwell on it, saying that if she talks about it she will cry.
Then comes the mess. As toys and snacks scatter across the floor, she launches into some playful sarcasm about how much she “loves” cleaning up after her kids because it means they feel so comfortable at home. “I’m such a blessed mommy,” she jokes.
At breakfast, things turn for a moment. Jaylen starts choking on his bacon. You can hear the shift in her voice as she checks on him. “Are you okay?” she asks, before coaching him: “Let’s chew our food more until we swallow, okay?” He comes through it, and she talks herself down too. “Calm down. You’re fine.”
@nylabrelsford
A Message for Moms Doing It Alone
The video ends on a more tender note. She says she believes motherhood “was not supposed to be so lonely,” and that many mothers are raising children entirely on their own or with only their spouse.
“I know how freaking hard it is,” she says, adding that she is proud of the moms watching because “no one told you that today.” She credits the community she found online with getting her through some hard months. “It has helped me through postpartum so freaking much,” she says.
Her plan for the rest of the day? Even though it is 96 degrees outside, she is loading everyone up for what she calls a “mental health walk.”
What to Do If a Child Is Choking
Her bacon scare ended quickly, but it is a good reminder for parents, grandparents and anyone who watches little ones. Choking can happen fast and quietly. These are the widely taught basics from groups like the American Red Cross and the American Academy of Pediatrics. They are not a substitute for a hands-on class, which every caregiver should consider taking.
If the child is coughing hard, crying or talking, air is still moving. Stay close, keep them calm, and let them keep coughing. Do not reach into their mouth blindly to grab the food, which can push it deeper.
If the child cannot cough, cry, breathe or speak, that is an emergency. Have someone call 911 right away. For a child over one year old, stand or kneel behind them and give quick inward and upward abdominal thrusts just above the belly button until the object comes out. For a baby under one, the method is different: support the baby face down along your forearm and give firm back blows between the shoulder blades, then turn the baby over and give chest thrusts with two fingers, repeating as needed.
If the child stops responding, begin CPR and keep going until help arrives.
A few prevention tips also help:
- Cut food for toddlers into small, thin pieces. Crispy bacon, grapes, hot dogs, nuts, popcorn and chunks of raw vegetables are common trouble foods for small children.
- Have kids sit down while they eat, rather than walking, running or playing with food in their mouths.
- Stay in the room during meals and snacks, especially with children under four.
How Family Far Away Can Still Help
If you have an adult child or grandchild raising little ones far from home, especially in a military family, you may not be able to drop by with a casserole. You can still make a real difference.
Call or video chat during the hard hours. A grandparent reading a story over video at dinnertime can buy a tired parent fifteen minutes to get food on the table.
Send practical help. A grocery delivery, a meal kit, a gift card for takeout or a few hours of a local cleaning service can mean more than another toy.
Point them toward support. Military bases typically have family readiness groups and support programs, and many communities have moms’ groups, library story times and church nurseries where new friendships form.
Tell them they are doing well. Her message about no one saying “I’m proud of you” is worth taking to heart. A short text can lift a parent’s whole day.
Her first morning alone came with a scare, a mess and a few tears held back. It also ended with her loading up the kids for a walk in the heat, telling every lonely parent that they are amazing.
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